Falling...

Or maybe just tripping and stumbling. Whatever happens before one totally falls. I worry that when I meet someone I am genuinely interested in, I get a little too assertive and want things to move too quickly. I said before I need a pace car. But there's something else I need.

I need to take the time to be open and learn and get to know the person. I want to have a deep relationship, but I worry that I will enter the "friend zone."

I know too much

There are "know it all's," but I'm not that. I'm more of a man that knows too much. Or, perhaps, I know too little and I think I know a lot.

Every thought is the result of a spark. What sparked this thought is a self observation. I am always transposing myself with the other person(s) I am engaged in some form of discussion. Every discussion to me is an exercise in assessment. I analyze others, I analyze myself. It gives me an advantage in every situation. I never underestimate my opponent (yes, interesting choice of words). I am never certain whether I am being underestimated.

This ability has allowed me to, more often than not, figure the other person out.

Telling the truth can be serious business...

The only funny scene in the all time worse movie "Ishtar" is the opening scene when Hoffman and Beatty try to compose a song. The song is entitled "Telling the truth can be serious business."

I agree. When I endeavour to be honest it often times is WAY too much for anyone to handle. We all have our own truth. Perhaps concealing the truth is best. A little mystery is a good thing.

Manifest destiny

It occurred to me today that as our priorities change our world responds. Major changes in our lives occur as a result in a change in ourselves first. We often think that external forces are causing shifts and we are reacting. In fact, I believe it's the exact opposite.
Awareness and acceptance are a far better reaction that fear and frustration.

Dysfunctional is the new Functional!

We all give ourselves a bad wrap. I think I'm a mess. Well, actually, I am! But I have yet to meet a person who had a perfect life. (Perhaps I only attract people like myself.)
We see others' strengths yet we never recognize our own.

The Grudge

I'm a grudge holder. I don't let things go. I have a "grudge cycle." I basically get pissed first. They I calm down so I can think straight. Then I start planning and scheming to get even. I often do nothing about it because, let's face it, there are ramifications to every action. But I don't let things go. I need vindication and closure and I believe that the reason I continue to hold the grudge is simply because I cannot get finality.

Floating...

It's like an out-of-body experience. Things don't work the way I want. I start to drift, but rather than drift away, I drift out of my life. I become numb to the feelings I should have. Sure, I experience them for a bit, but usually I wrap them up, pack them away and ignore them.
Our external world has such a deep impact on so many things.