Insecurities surface

Only when I become attracted enough to become vulnerable do I then fully experience my insecurities. It's been so easy categorizing my relationships into meaningful friendships and recreational pursuits.

Why did I choose to go down this road again. Old feelings of trust, rejection and abandonment surface. Why do emotions complicate things? Living with heart doesn't offer any more upside highs than living thoughtfully and logically. In fact, I think it's just plain stupid.

Sail on…

OK, so I listen to Lionel Ritchie. The man has made some great music. I was recently listening to "Sail on" and I was taken by the lyrics. All I can say is listen to it. Sail on :)

In nothing, there's something

I have been feeling extremely emotionally healthy. It sort of crept up  on me. In looking back almost 4 years now, I knew the day would come, the day I didn't feel hurt or pain. I do hang on to some anger, purposefully. I have always done that as a defense mechanism.

But this nothingness has become something new. I feel no void in my life. I have no desire or wish to nest or to mate. I'm not quite sure what I feel. When I figure it our I'll let you know.

Getting even

Revenge is never recommended, but admittedly, it is very satisfying. I've had cause over the years to exact my anger against those who have deserved it. (Writing this makes me laugh). 

Evolution and innovation

How did we get here? I mean, how did we get to the point where we feel compelled to follow in the footsteps of our ancestors. In every other part of life there is innovation and improvement. Movement away from how things have been done to a better way. Why are relationships any different?

We do exactly as everyone before us has done. You've all heard this before: The definition of insanity is continually doing the same thing and expecting a different result.

Is anyone REALLY happy?

Think about this… why do any of us stay in a monogamous relationship? Is it because that other person makes us so happy we can't imagine our lives without them? or… Is it that we are so jealous that the thought of the person being with someone else makes us insecure? or… Do we think that we will never find anyone else ever again?

I have to tell you all, the more I think of the other feelings the more I wonder. None of us are hideous. If any of us are, well, then we all are. 

Lying can be good

It allows us to start over. Telling the truth doesn't always serve us best. I lie. I lie to get want I want, but I also lie when I need the other person to allow me to start over.

If I live up to what I promise after I lie, is it bad?