A revelation! After years of trying to gain the approval of others I realized it was never anyone else that was judging me, it was me! OMG!
Here I was trying to impress people I didn't even know or care about. Then still judging myself. I set these expectations of what life was supposed to be like. When I got what I wanted, it wasn't what I expected, When I didn't get my way, I wasn't deserving.
How did I get this way? Why would I, me, create expectations that no one else placed on me? Now, I'm not saying I should have been lazy or not try or not strive to achieve. What I'm saying is, how could I be so hard on myself? I disguised my own expectations of myself. I made it seem as if someone else expected that of me.
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